I’m a lad born in Ireland, whose currently living in Ireland but probably won’t settle or die Ireland. To those unfamiliar with my vernacular I shall explain what a ’spud’ is. It is another name for a potato which affirms the axiom that a potato is a potato by any other name and smells as sweet.
Mmm... home grown Irish spud...
Irish people are unique race in that their chemical composition is only 30% water rather than the conventional 60% for the human species. The remaining 30% is composed of potato. Irish folk derive their sage-like scholasticness from tasting silver salmons of knowledge indigineous to their green nation and their pristine sainthoods from the very absence of the once indigineous snake. The shrewdness and craftiness of the Irish populace is based on a foundational logical debate that only ensues during bouts of excessive alcohol consumption in which genius and wit is given a forum to reign free giving way to such contemporary philosophy’s as ‘Murphy’s Law’ (and good ol’ Murphy is always on the ball I assure thee). The lyricism and swift tongue of the Irish folk is derived from the ritualistic embracing of a lip eroded stone whilst inverted and looking downwards at a lethal drop from which they are only protected by a narrow gaping void enclosed with a scarce number of rusted bars.
The salmon of knowledge comprises a significant portion of the diets of the venerable Irish.
Should you ever cross an Irish individual he it is likely to engage you in guerilla warfare, threaten you with tales of a local Banshee, challenge you to an Irish jig dance off or return to you armed with a shillelagh in its left hand and a hurley in the right hand. In such scenarios an Irish person is generally incautious of the consequences of their actions due to their comfort in the fact that all their sins can be absolved on their death beds by turning to the Christ of their traditional Catholic faith.
You've just got served by a jigging Irish man!
Onwards now to the blog where the most revered personification of topic is the potato and the most despised and rejected is Oliver Cromwell. That being so, for the purposes of this blog I simply wish to intermittantly impart a few musings and even a lesser amount of pearls of wisdom.
Posted by Sophia Marsden on June 13, 2009 at 1:40 pm
I love potatos.
My favorite food.
Posted by Irish Spud on June 13, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Good to hear but did you know that on average an Irish person needs to consume six to eight potatoes a day as a nutritional requirement to avoid malnutrition? Just as well we like them so much, eh?